and then.. the podcast was born

Ahh. MURDER SHE TAPED is officially launched!

My best friend Taylor and I have been thinking about starting a podcast for a little while now. We were thinking about subjects and brainstorming, and finally we decided to pick the one thing we both love as much as our dogs, TRUE CRIME!

What a journey it has already been to start this podcast.. subject, name, logo, research, hashtags, recording, platform to post on! I think I can speak for both of us when I say, we have literally been running on late nights, and strong coffee to get this podcast going.

I am quite light hearted and love to laugh, so my main thing on the podcast was to bring a light hearted humor to a serious subject that has been taboo to talk about in our society while keeping the true crime stories accurate. I have the upmost respect for the victims, but sometimes bringing a light hearted humour to a topic that actually scares the hell out of me and many others is best!

If you are interested in listening to mine and T's voices- check out our new podcast @murdershetaped

https://soundcloud.com/murdershetaped

I was born..

03/25/1993.

When I think back on this year, the year of 25, I think of tough lessons.

Last year on my 25th birthday, I was alone in a hotel room in Calgary. Laying in bed, holding a puffy hotel pillow so tight my knuckles were white. I was crying with mascara running down my face trying to figure out what went so wrong in the month before my birthday that left me scared and alone.

I thought about the unthinkable to most people.. I thought about taking my own life just to stop the pain of betrayal and failure that hit me like a  ton of bricks. I hated myself for most of 25, but with the help of a few amazing angels in my life that walked alongside me while I battled my thoughts, I am here today.

I know one things for sure, I am growing to be content with my life.. I am learning to be content with being alone. And I am also coming to terms with the fact that it is time to look outside of myself for guidance and help.

I think 26 is going to be a year of tough decisions, and of many growing pains.. but I can not wait to see what these next 365 days have in store for me.

#happyfuckingbirthdaytome

I'm sorry I'm late.. I'm doing my half best

I’m sorry I’m late.. I’m doing my half best

I feel like I have been slacking in areas in my life that are usually my top priorities. It’s like I am giving everything my half best. My blog has been silent for far too long, rescue has been pushed to the sidelines and I only have time to look at it when someone asks for help, and some of my best friends and I have been far too silent lately. I feel my dogs wanting more time outside now that the weather is warming up, which means, they require my time to spend taking them on walks and adventures. I am also trying to focus on getting healthy with working out, and meal prepping, which has taken up a lot of my time! Also, I am trying to excel in my career and when you want to move up in any position, you spend more than 8 hours working for your goals!

I think I have been in a weird funk lately because I am turning 26 shortly.. I think back to when I was 18, and I thought I would have more of my shit together by 26.. You know, just the normal stuff, a strong healthy relationship possibly marriage, financial security, and being higher up in my career.. Yet I am single, living paycheck to paycheck, and in the same job I have been for 4 years! I look back on the past 8 years of my life, and wonder what the heck happened. Where has the time gone, and what do I have to show for it?!

Yes, I can show my house.. Yes, I can show some new experiences such as travelling.. Yes, I can show new friends and loving people around me.. But most importantly, I can show Self Growth! I’m not the same person I was when I was 18, and deep down I know if I was where I thought I would be at 26, I don’t think I would be as at peace with myself as a person as I am today. I enjoy my own company, I don’t depend on anyone but myself to get through tough times, and I have been strong enough to walk away from people who didn’t have good intentions towards me. To put simply, I am a badass, and I forgot about that when I compare myself to the picture I had in my head at 18.

So here is to everyone doing their HALF best lately!