I was born..

03/25/1993.

When I think back on this year, the year of 25, I think of tough lessons.

Last year on my 25th birthday, I was alone in a hotel room in Calgary. Laying in bed, holding a puffy hotel pillow so tight my knuckles were white. I was crying with mascara running down my face trying to figure out what went so wrong in the month before my birthday that left me scared and alone.

I thought about the unthinkable to most people.. I thought about taking my own life just to stop the pain of betrayal and failure that hit me like a  ton of bricks. I hated myself for most of 25, but with the help of a few amazing angels in my life that walked alongside me while I battled my thoughts, I am here today.

I know one things for sure, I am growing to be content with my life.. I am learning to be content with being alone. And I am also coming to terms with the fact that it is time to look outside of myself for guidance and help.

I think 26 is going to be a year of tough decisions, and of many growing pains.. but I can not wait to see what these next 365 days have in store for me.

#happyfuckingbirthdaytome