I prayed for you on nights I didn't even pray for myself

I prayed for you on nights I didn’t even pray for myself

A letter to him.

I cared about you, but I need to take a step back from you, and us and whatever this is or was. After reading my previous messages, I realized I need to stop trying to make you into a person that you’re not. I think I have this idea that you could be a really great partner when in reality you have never shown me that. As much as I want to be here and support you in whatever way you need, I think it’s best for both of us if I step away.

You admitted to me that you shut down with me, and are unsure why. I can also admit that I try and fix things and people and situations constantly. With all that said, it has made me realize that we are really off balance with each other at this point in our lives. I am trying to constantly communicate with someone who is completely shut down, and it’s not healthy for either of us.

Maybe if it was a different time things could have worked in our favor. I loved how much of myself I could be with you. It’s not everyday I meet someone that gets me, and what I shared with you is rare to find in someone!

I know I came off as upset the last time we talked, but I want you to know I don’t hate you or want to be upset. We are completely different people, who have lived completely different lives, and react in different ways. I hope in time when my feelings have subsided and my feelings for you have faded we can be friends. If not, I wish you all the best in the future, and keep being a bad ass human.